Dating online can be exciting and give you the opportunity to meet people you might not otherwise come across in daily life.

Be Mindful of These Red Flags In Online Dating

Dating online can be exciting and give you the opportunity to meet people you might not otherwise come across in daily life. Dating online and using various apps and platforms has become the norm rather than the exception in the past ten years, but that doesn’t mean it’s completely without downsides. 

Even when you check out someone’s background online, it can still be tough to know if the person you’re talking to and forming a relationship with is who you think they are. 

There are a lot of ways that someone can create a persona online that perhaps doesn’t match reality. 

There may be small differences like maybe someone embellished a tiny bit about their role at their job. 

Then, there can also be big issues. For example, maybe someone doesn’t have the job they said they do at all, or they could have a history of violence or criminal activities. 

While there’s always going to be some level of risk with online dating, the following are things to watch for and red flags to be mindful of as you’re navigating this world. 

They Won’t Answer a Call or FaceTime

Maybe you meet someone online, and you’re talking for a while. You might not meet in person yet, perhaps because they live somewhere else or one of you isn’t ready. 

Even if you aren’t going to meet right away, it would be typical to talk on the phone and also on FaceTime. If you find that someone doesn’t want to do these things or doesn’t pick up your call when you try, it can be a red flag. 

This is one of the biggest signs you’re potentially being catfished.

You Don’t Get a Selfie in the Moment

People who are talking after connecting online will often send each other impromptu selfies of what they’re doing at any given moment. This is a good way to build your relationship before you meet in person. 

If someone isn’t reluctant to send a selfie, again, this might be a sign you’re being catfished. 

They Find Excuses Not to Meet in Person

Maybe you live close enough to each other that you could reasonably meet in person, but they keep telling you no for one reason or another. The goal of online dating is that you form an in-person connection and a long-lasting relationship, so if you’re spending time chatting with someone who doesn’t seem to want to do those things, it might be a problem.

Maybe someone flat out says no, or they might initially agree to meet and then come up with excuses. 

There is any number of reasons this can happen, from someone just using online dating platforms to entertain themselves and play games to the person perhaps being married or in another relationship. 

The reality is if someone doesn’t ever seem to want to meet in person, it’s problematic because there’s no way for you to have a real-world relationship, no matter their reasons why. 

The Person “Love Bombs” You

Love bombing is a term referring to behavioral patterns where a person shows over-the-top affection at the start of a relationship.

You could see this red flag when you’re just talking to someone or when you meet in person. 

Someone who love bombs might give you excessive gifts, introduce you to their family right away, or start telling you they love you. 

Love bombing can be a red flag of a potentially problematic relationship. 

Someone who engages in love bombing doesn’t actually form real relationships. Instead, they try to create the bond and force it rather than letting it happen naturally. 

Sometimes, it’s relatively innocent, and other times it can be part of a cycle of narcissism and manipulation. 

There are situations where so-called love bombers will act this way at the start of a relationship so that you then become dependent on them, and they can gain control over you. 

Love bombers are often people who could be considered narcissists, although that’s not always the case. 

They Warn You About Themselves

Sometimes people who are problematic in a relationship will come right out and tell you, but you may not be willing to listen. 

If someone gives you a warning about themselves, it’s a red flag you need to take seriously. 

Unfortunately, many people don’t. They might take it as a joke or feel like they can be the person to fix someone. 

If you’re talking to someone who describes themselves as trouble or something similar, take what they’re saying seriously.

Their Profile Is Full of What They Don’t Want

If you’re familiar with online dating, it’s likely that you’ve seen those profiles that seem like a laundry list of things the person doesn’t like and doesn’t want. It’s fine to have things that you don’t want in a relationship. We should all have healthy boundaries and know what we want out of life and partners. 

If the don’t list is much longer than the do list it can be a problem. The person might be negative and maybe even controlling. 

Conversations and Photos Are Overly Sexual

It’s important when you first match or connect with someone online that you actually get to know each other. If someone jumps right into sexual conversations or sends sexual photos, go the other direction if you’re looking for a serious relationship. 

You always want to feel comfortable with any content you send or receive, and if someone is being inappropriate from the start, this probably isn’t a person you’re going to be able to have a serious relationship with. 

Finally, a red flag that you should never ignore is someone who asks you for money. It doesn’t matter the reason they say they need it. There’s no reason to ask for money from a strange you meet on a dating profile. It’s not only a red flag it’s a dealbreaker. 

It can be surprising how tricky scammers can be, and even individuals who consider themselves savvy and discerning can be a victim.